Why Being a Tall Woman is Hard

(and why you should let it go)

Being tall is not as glamorous as every 5’5″ woman seems to think it is. It is also something that I have struggled to articulate without coming across as rude or crass. I will attempt to explain it to the masses here, in hopes of raising some awareness.

Scaring the Villagers 

I think I can speak for every tall woman when I say that sometimes we feel a little bit like Godzilla tearing through the streets of our city. People point, children cry and everyone runs. Just when I start feeling quasi-normal for the day, someone yells out “OH MY GOD! How tall are you?” as though I was some monster to be feared. This sensation is exponentially increased every time I put on a pair of high heels. Damnit, I love shoes, and I love heels. What I don’t like, is being gawked at every time I decide to put a pair on. I’m not looking to crush you under my MASSIVE size 9 shoes (I hope you can smell the sarcasm), I just want to go for a walk.

Owning It

I can’t count the number of times someone has said to me “Oh, I wish I was as tall as you! You should be proud!”. You know what? You give it a try, then. Everyone has their good days, and their bad days. I have days when I feel like I’m unstoppable and I could rule the world. But then I have days where my teenage self creeps back up and says “maybe if you chopped your legs off at the knee, you wouldn’t look like such a freak”.

Getting the date

First dates are the worst. Especially if it’s a set-up, a blind date, or, heaven forbid an online date. I always make sure I show up early so I can be sitting when he first sees me. I don’t want his first impression of me to be a monstrosity. I like to let me fabulous personality shine through and hope it’s enough for him to look past the fact that I might be taller than him. This strategy usually works. I’m right around the same height as my current boyfriend. I don’t have the balls to wear heels around him yet, mostly in fear that I’ll make him feel like he has none.

The Gangles 

It’s no surprise that most of my height comes from my legs. I have some of the longest legs that you will ever see. That makes me gangly. This is something that I have known for a long time, and I have come to terms with it. In the process of coming to terms with my legs, I have given up wearing pants. I have given up the pursuit for a pair of jeans that are long enough, but are also flattering in other areas. Let me tell you, they don’t exist. I’m not bothered by this anymore. I’ll leave the denim prisons to the short people.

The other aspect of being gangly, is that I’ve had to learn to keep it under control. I am a dancer and therefore am expected to be graceful. Oh, the comments that I get! Everything from “oh, you don’t normally expect bigger people to be elegant” to “I figured I could learn to dance, I mean, you’re a giant and you can do it!”. Gee… thanks.

The Moral of the Story 

I didn’t ask to be like this, there’s nothing I can do to control or change it. What I don’t understand is why everyone feels the need to make such a big fucking deal about it. I don’t understand why I have to be labeled as “The Tall Girl”. Why do I need this label at all? Why can’t I just be a person instead of a side show? Why does it matter how tall I am? Will it affect your life in any way? No? Then let it go.

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